Friday, October 5, 2007

You letting your perm grow out....girl I didn't know you had good hair and stuff.

{Sigh} This was a comment made by a sista to me today. When are we going to get over this concept of what textures make hair good vs bad?

For the record I think good hair is any hair that is on your head that is healthy, properly moisturized (and that is moisturized not greased like you are planning to fry chicken later), not split from end to root...or even worse on the floor not because you cut it but because it is shedding or breaking off.

Now we all know where this self hatred of our coily, kinky and yes "nappy" hair began. However we have to take responsibility for continuing to feed the monster. I admit I've done no differently than most and viewed different textures as good and bad. But years ago, I learned that good hair is not a is healthy hair in any form.

Hey I sound really deep now don't I? LOL. But those of you who know me, know I have my own opinions and to hell with anyone who doesn't like them because it doesn't follow the masses into the easy way of thinking. Simply put, if you don't want to hear what I have to say...ya don't have to read my blog. 'nuf said bout that.

Ok, getting off my soapbox now. Again I am not's just for me at this point in my life, my hair and scalp are anti-relaxer and since I want them both to be happy and stay together for a long time to come, that's what I'm going with. Wish I had not been stubborn and really listened to them before. I got the impression that this sista was saying that unless you have what is considered "good hair" among the masses then you need a relaxer. We have got to get out of this way of thinking. How, I don't know. But somehow we have got to come to terms with this self-hatred of our hair.

Good hair in our community has always meant straight or nearly straight or with a slight wave...but not too wavy, anything else could to easily bump up against being that nasty nappy hair we seem to hate. Oh yeah, if it ain't long, then some folks might also take you out of the good hair category if you are a female. But we also have all these hair type categories, 3b, 4a, xyz or whatever. And this can further complicate the fight. And whoooweee....they're have been some heated ones over hair typing.

Oh, let's talk about that baby hair thing too. How is it that a woman in her 40's has baby hair????? Uh, sorry sista, you ain't been a baby in....30-something don't have baby hair. Simple as that.

Ooops {slides soapbox with foot under the desk} Got distracted with some more ranting...but that baby hair thing is a pet peeve with me.

So I'm gonna get out off here before I find something else to rant about.


kasey1love said...

You are correct in your observations regarding some women of color feeling that because they're hair is of a coarser texture that they cannot be a natural.

I have been told " well you have good hair you can do that !!"

I in turn responded " We all can do that because we all have kinky, curly, coils"

We just need to explore different products to find what makes our hair more manageable.

I get frustrated....even my own daughter thinks this way.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing my thought. I am at the crossroad of wanting to grow out my perm. My mind is made up, but people try to sway me. Some say you have pretty hair, why do you want to mess it up?. Others say, you have good hair you can probably go natural. What is good hair? I tell you, having hair on your head is good hair. My sister has chemical-induced alopecia. Ask her what good hair is. Again, thanks. Peace out